Who Should I Trust for Advice in My Pending Divorce, Paternity or Legal Separation in San Diego in 2014?

A legal separation, divorce or paternity case can be one of the most difficult times in life. Many parents who are either unmarried, such as in a paternity case, or parents who are married such as in a divorce or legal separation, need to have someone they can trust completely for advice. The best person to ask for advice is someone who will be a fiduciary to you. A fiduciary is a person who places your interests ahead of all others including their own. A fiduciary has no motive or gain and only your best interests. Some fiduciaries are non professionals [as we all hope our parents or siblings would be] although {unfortunately} some are not. Some fiduciaries are professionals [such as attorneys who are charged with placing client interests ahead of all others including themselves but {unfortunately} some do not. It is best, in a family law case which involves a legal separation, divorce or paternity to have professional advice since a well intentioned fiduciary may be misinformed or not educated in family law to give advice which is in your best interests although then may think this is.

Your family should be your fiduciary. Your parents, in a paternity, legal separation or divorce case, should put your interests ahead of your spouse also, of course, ahead of their own. In fact, of course, due to this innate bias, declarations of your parents carry little credible weight with a Judge. If, however, your spouse’s parents support you and not their child, then this is a different matter and the Judge may give this much more credible weight. In addition to your parents are your siblings. Your siblings may be able to be more understanding of what you are going through and they also may have gone through a divorce, legal separation or paternity case. You may also have adult children who may be either (1) from the same relationship or (2) from a different relationship. Involving children is not a recommended strategy and may be looked on with disfavor by a San Diego Superior Court Judge. If minor children, absolutely, they should not be involved and parents would be strongly prejudiced if the Judge thought a parent was trying to alienate the other parent.

Friends can be a great source of comfort. Many are lucky and have life long friends or persons they have been friends with for many years. It is very important to choose a friend which will not discuss the case with your spouse. Some friends, of course, are friends of both spouses and this always creates some potential or actual conflict between which spouse the friend should “side with”. Again, the goal is to obtain a fiduciary and this means no potential or actual conflicts at all. Be very careful, of course, of all disclosures since you do not want this “friend” in court testifying with information which is prejudicial to your case which you provided.

Therapists can be excellent fiduciaries. They can give professional advice and their only goal is to help you through this most difficult time. The education, training and experience, as with all professionals, varies greatly so try and obtain a recommendation or conduct your due diligence search. Many times, spouses need to talk and vent their emotions and anger but do so in a “safe environment” where this can never be used against them.

Attorneys are fiduciaries. An attorney who is only interested in your best interests is mandatory for legal representation. No attorney can make a guarantee about the outcome of the case. An attorney can, however, guarantee to put your interests ahead of all others including their own economic best interests. This is so important since all family law clients are so vulnerable during their case. When a person is at their most vulnerable, it is so important to be able to trust completely and implicitly the advice. Many clients, unfortunately, have complained that their attorney told them one thing before they hired and gave a retainer payment and then another thing after court or during the case.

The law firm of Doppelt and Forney, APLC will put your interests ahead of all others. Please feel free to research about the firm and also about the value which is in the best interest of the client. These include costs which the firm pays but which are not passed on to current clients and are comprised of in office copying, postage, parking, mileage and fax. The law firm also does not charge current clients for routine filings in all of the court houses in San Diego County for additional value.