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Many cases do not settle in San Diego, whether a legal separation, divorce or paternity case, because spouses have unrealistic expectations regarding custody, visitation, parenting plans, spousal support, child support or division of assets and debts. Not knowing what is in accord with San Diego and California family law can result in continued conflict and litigation rather than settlement. Many speak with their family, friends or co workers who have gone through a divorce and believe that they can give expert advice since they have been through the process. While going through the process does give experience, this does not mean that your case is the same as their case or that your issues are the same as their issues. An expert analysis is required to determine what your issues are and what the expected result can be. For example, if you are married more than 10 years, it is an unrealistic expectation to expect a termination date for spousal support if you are the payor. Getting an expert opinion at the onset of your family law case can be most beneficial.DO NOT MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS
All are human. Emotions can run high even when married and can exponentially increase during a family law case no matter whether it is a divorce, legal separation or paternity. It is important to try and make as many decisions you can as a “business decision” when it comes to non custody issues such as division of debts, division of assets, child support and spousal support. While these are emotional, they are resolved by California law. The Disso Master calculates temporary and permanent child support and temporary spousal support. The assets and debts will be divided one half each with some limited exceptions. As per the above, knowing what these amount of support would be and the exceptions for the division of debt and assets will give realistic expectations and will also help to reduce the emotions as much as possible. One issue is not a money issue and is most emotional and this is the parenting plan. The parenting plan, in San Diego, is resolved by first trying to reach an agreement at Family Court Services which is the mandatory mediation and, if not, then a Judge will make the orders. One strategy to help avoid making emotional decisions is to implement the “24 hour rule”. This means no significant decisions made before 24 hours to consider. This gives time to consider without emotion.DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE PROVOKED
When words are exchanged and arguments are a result, it is very easy to try and argue and retaliate. Again, all are human and no one likes to be told they are a bad spouse or bad parent or other faults and mistakes. Human relationships are very complicated. Anger management can also be an issue either unilaterally or bilaterally. It is easy to lose your temper and do or say things you would not normally say or do when provoked.DO NOT PROVIDE ANY EVIDENCE WHICH CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU
In 2014, many use social media sites including Facebook, Twitter and many others. In addition, texts and e mails are easily saved for later dates. Remember not to post or send information you would not want a San Diego Superior Court Judge to see. The Judge’s are not for any side and only what the law is in California for family law. One suggestion is to be very careful of the “2am e mail or text”. Many parents and spouses going through the family law litigation process cannot sleep and send texts or e mails in the middle of the night. Many who send, the next day, wish they had not and could take back but, of course, it is too late then.HOW CAN A LOCAL SAN DIEGO LAW FIRM HELP?
The Law Firm of Doppelt and Forney, APLC has been representing client’s and trying to give realistic expectations for years. The Law Firm offers a free 30 minute virtual consultation so that your specific issues can be discussed and your questions answered. We can also assist in trying to reduce tension and conflict so you can move on and have peace of mind.